New Art Showing!

Oct. 9th from 5-8pm at the Wazobia Cafe! <-- the Opening!

All of October! <-- My art will be up the whole stinkin' month!

See my art! Eat yummy noms! Drink fantastic liquids of the non-alcoholic variety! Help me earn some money to buy ...a new wheelchair - all art is for SALE!

www.WazobiaCafe.com <-- for info and smiles!

Thanks to Jerrod for this fantastic hookup!

See My Art and Support Awesomeness
Time: Friday, 09 October 2009 5:00-8:00 pm
Location: 770 S. 13th Street, Philadelphia 19147

Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)

Yes, yes, it's a classic. Everyone should read it. The story is a time-tested blah blah blaaaaah. You came here to read a review, so a review you shall receive:

Pip is a self-centered little prick with no ambition beyond making shit look good to others. Estella is a bitch. Herbert is a poncy little git, but at least he has an actual working desire to improve himself. Pumblechook, Jaggers and Orlick all pissed me off. I liked Wemmick and Biddy, and the Aged Parent was pretty cute. I wanted to correct Joe's sentences and give him a hearty pat on the back. Magwitch - what a complicated person! Hate him, love him, hate him all over again. By the time I finished the book, I was irritated, slightly confused and trying to figure out why I wanted to read it again! Damn you, Dickens - you did it again. I'd begun reading Great Expectations with the feeling that I'd hate it. That it would bore me to sleeping fits, and that I'd eventually just let it fall by the wayside as so many other boring books. But see, I fell into his little literary trap! I wanted to know what was going to happen next, even if it was kind of boring.

I'd read a condensed version of this book for children when I was one of them, and thought it was high time I read the grown-up's version. Well, I did. I don't know that I'll read it again, but I'd like to think I will. If nothing else, I'd like to wander through Miss Havisham's house one more time.

The Groucho Letters (Groucho Marx)

First and foremost, you should know that I am a rabid Marx Brothers fan. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, you should also know that this book is a treasure trove of hilarity, history and hijinks. A collection of letters to and from Groucho Marx to various associates, friends, family members and other victims, there are few pages that do not bring a smile to the reader's lips. I myself laughed out loud every 1.3 pages, but that's irrelephant.

Containing such gems as the famous Hollywood club membership denial, discussions of literature with T.S. Eliot, S.J. Perelman and other geniuses with initialed first names, this tome is an awe-and-guffaw inspiring sample of the humour and intelligence of one of the world's greatest comedians.

Neverwhere (Neil Gaiman)

Each day, we walk through doorways and think nothing of them. What if the next time, you found yourself somewhere completely unanticipated? What if you ended up in the underground Underground?

Richard Mayhew had a cozy, boring, normal life. His girlfriend was ambitious, his job sufficient, his comfort levels comfortable. This all mercifully changed when a lovely mouse of a girl fell out of a solid wall and into his life, taking him on adventures of the sort to put hair on a chest (if you're into that sort of thing). Certain lives in London Below are about to be irrevocably changed unless Richard, Door, Hunter and the Marquis can discover who murdered Door's family - and why.

Neil Gaiman never ceases to inspire; his characters come alive effortlessly, with clarity and expression. Having seen the BBC series before reading the book made little difference to my imagination, as each time I read anything by Gaiman my mind flows with his words.

There is a world beneath us, around us, behind us - within us, if we look for it.

Peyton Place - Grace Metalious

The passage of time does strange things to society and culture. Once upon a less volatile time, occurrences such as a teen pregnancy or a basement full of drunks may well have gotten a town in an uproar. Sadly, these days we are numb to such things. Grace Metalious wrote this book in a time when small towns really were small. A time when your neighbors really did know not only your name, but your personal business. A simpler time, but not an easier or more relaxed time.

Each character leaves an immediate and distinct impression on the reader, from little Joey and his lambs to the crotchety old men around the stove in winter. Every new person the reader meets seems to be less a moment of inspiration and more a photograph of an actual living, breathing human.

Following the lives of this small town is at once comforting and frightening; if life back then was this complicated, what are we in for in the future?

The Godfather Returns (Mark Winegardner)

To say I'm a fan of La Cosa Nostra books is a serious understatement. However, I don't believe that every book out there on the subject is good, and I certainly don't hold that simply because this was based on Mario Puzo's characters, it should be a good read. I can say now, after spending a relatively long time reading it (for me; this translates to four days) that it was incredibly well written and left me feeling enthralled and hungry, yet satisfied with the newer knowledge gained about the Family. Winegardner found Puzo's voice in this novel, and tempered with his own, succeeded in weaving new information seamlessly with the prior tales of loyalty, business and family.

The timeframe goes from 1955 to 1962, detailing the aftermath of the initial Godfather novel. It also goes back to Michael's childhood, where we gain a significantly clearer picture of not only Michael's convictions, but Fredo's personalities and Sonny's anger. It clarifies why Tom Hagen was brought into the family, and introduces new members who become more and more important to the big picture as the pages turn. Showing what Michael experienced when he served in the military, we are given a glimpse at what lengths he went to in order to rebel against his father and thereby avoid the tradition he so hated... and was so proficient at cultivating.

Come Twilight (Chelsea Quinn Yarbro)

Ok, you got me - I like to read vampire stories; Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, and various other, less recognized writers. A week ago, I went home sick from work, and decided to get a book since I knew I'd be up with a cough, and picked up Come Twilight on a whim (there was a cute girl nearby- what can I say). I tend towards being a speed-reader, but this book was so good I couldn't stop myself. I stayed up later than I should have, and picked it up first thing in the morning, while I was cooking. You name it, I read while doing it. Well, not everything - get your mind out of the gutter.

The three main characters are Count Saint Germain, his manservant Rotiger, and the tragically bitchy Csiminae. The story follows their travels over several hundred years, beginning in 500. Yarbro does an excellent job of sinking the reader into that particular timeframe, and as the book is divided up into several eras, she doubly impressed me with her research of dialectic changes. The characters' names change with the period, as well as the styles of dress, location names, and customs.

She paints a less-than-perfect portrait of not only the characters, but also the land and
those who rule over it, which is a welcome departure from the beautiful people of some other writers out there. Count Saint Germain is described as a man - not an angel from on high, not a sexually ambiguous demon come to sweep you off of your dainty little feet, but a man. Courteous, respectful, shrewd and calculating. In fact, I can barely recall how he is physically described to the reader, which again is a welcome departure. Rotiger is
described as a ghoul, and his habits are never really explained, save for the fact that he eats raw meat.

He anticipates his master's every need, and travels the earth searching for St. Germain when the two are separated. Touching devotion. Csiminae. this woman is a psycho. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with protecting one's children, wanting the best for them, teaching them how to live a good life - these are all wonderful actions! However, when one loses ones' marbles in the process, well, it makes for a good tale. My suggestion to you is that if you enjoy fluffy "pretty" vampire books, don't bother with this one. It has grit, and meat, and blood, and truth. I'll be reading it again soon.

Wicked (Gregory Maguire)

Beginning with the familiar scene of the Wicked Witch eavesdropping on Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man, the journey undertaken by the wholesome group is set aside and the life of the Wicked Witch - Elphaba - is traveled eagerly. All of the essentials are here: love, hate, jealousy, and the fights for truth and right. Oh, and did I mention Glinda is in there also? She wasn't always so... sugary-sweetly-good.

Gregory Maguire gives the anti-saccharinites out here a guided and annotated tour of how the other side lives, and it's nothing like we imagined. Greeting life in a shack to more or less normal parents - neither of them were green, I'll say that - isn't what we expected.

Given the fortuitous opportunity to study at what Hogwart's wishes it was, Elphaba begrudges it only to see parts of life that she'd never imagined, and meets the stalwart and honorable Animals. The story flows so easily that I can recall each encounter with clarity, and Elphaba's life is a thousand times more interesting than the wholesome group of base characters. I'd envisioned more fire than hearthstone from the Wicked Witch, but it seems to be more the other way around.

This seems all the more palatable when written by Maguire. His other novel, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, is equally entrancing and gives that much-needed skew to the stories we've all grown up with. I eagerly await his next release, and hope he continues to enchant with his perspective.

Skinny Legs and All (Tom Robbins)

Feeling cheated lately? The Muslims seem to have all the answers to questions only they are answering. The Christians have known the deal since time immemorial. The Satanists - well, who has the balls to ask them anything? The artists, they've always known the score. But has anyone thought to ask the flatware? The unmentionables? Your girlfriend's vibrator?

Perhaps you should.

Spanning the ages, Tom Robbins skillfully slaps the reader with the truth of it all, the meaning of 42, and how to make art. Oh, and a little bit of squishy love talk, but the kind that brings back memories of teenage fumblings. The main characters are mostly human, mostly open-minded, and all fascinating. The poetic rhapsody of a tin can, the grousing of an old lonely sock, and the sage influence of a conch all add to the grandeur of the tales spun. Think you've seen mimes?

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

"An Arab and a Jew open a restaurant together across the street from the United Nations." You can wait for the punch line, but there are too many to choose from in this astoundingly bright and shining guide to the life we should all be living.

Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas (Tom Robbins)

You love money. You don't just need it or admire it, you love it. Your supposed boyfriend takes second - nay, third place in the line for your affections. By Tuesday, he'll be in last place just after the rectal-cancer-curing leaves from Twister's Comanche daddy. After Andre the born-again jewel thief macaque. After the Bozo, the Dogon, and Sirius C. And it goes without saying, after Q-Jo, your 300+ lb. supposed friend and The Fool. But the fun is just beginning.

Tom Robbins has a short but sweet list of novels to his name, and "Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas" follows in his tradition of instruction manuals for the life we all should be living. Set in rainy Seattle as his novels generally are, he takes the opportunity to unexpectedly educate the reader in the nuances of the stock market by way of the stars, amphibians and the mind. There are no hints or tips on how to make bank, but plenty on how to make bounce and be-bop-a-lula. Gwen Mati, a Filipino-Welsh skewed magnet drawn to money, is our hapless heroine, steeped in layers of talentless plastic wrap. Blinded by her immense desire for the american dream, she grudgingly accepts that life is more than pretty green paper, spacious condos and Porsches. The road she travels to arrive there is sticky-sweet with banana popsicles and fragrant with asparagus-scented pee. Her companion, Larry Diamond, is the catalyst she desperately needed to extricate her from the bowels of the worst day of her entire life, which is much like the worst day of each of our lives - it's always today, and tomorrow will always be worse.

Once again, Robbins proves that the imagination can get the better of you, if you only give it the chance. Robbins definitely doesn't write like "most writers"; as unbelievable as his stories may seem, they are always just this side of the truth... but the truth is in drag and barking "wuf!" in our faces.